Sometimes I just wished that I had grown up a little older, so things would just go my way because "I'm old enough". A simple reason to counter difficult situations, but of course that's definitely against the natural order of how things work.

When I'm old enough, I would not get scolded just because I had stayed out late.

When I'm old enough, I can tell them of Heng Yi and not be so secretive because it's killing me.

When I'm old enough, I can wear make up and dress up nicely instead of the typical school dress code they subject me to. Mother tells me,"No, this one is too mature for you! Take this!" "No, you don't have breasts to fill these clothes." etc. Maybe I should swear by shirts and long pants someday soon.

When I'm old enough, I can go on trips without them restricting me. Can you believe it? Even a trip with Bryan and Kenneth (my childhood friends) got them so uptight, so how can I go elsewhere?

Just because I look small doesn't mean I'm immature. Im 19! Girls go out partying late into the night (that's not what I want) but I just want to illustrate the point that I'm still me. The old me from the secondary school days with just a wee bit more freedom. Why are they always emphasizing on academics, education and study? It's not like they fully understand RP's system, do they? Every weekend at home is practically cooping my brain up in a jail, where the guard has nothing else to say to the prisoner other than to study, study and study harder. Communication is one wonderful thing which our family never learned. Learning to control their raised voices and temper is a miracle that will never happen in a million years.

I wished we'd be on better terms, like a typical nice warm family, a nice sanctuary to return to. Haha, maybe I'm just sick of being treated "small" :]