Things I really must get:

1. Valentine's Day gift -??
2. Skinny Jean - $36
3. Leggings - $17
4. Contacts - $30
5. Cotton on - Cardigans $30

No money...

Ouch.

Is one word that practically sums up this day.

Ouch.

Pardon my post for today. I'm sorry.

I am seriously getting bugged and totally irritated by Aloysious.

Stop!

Asking Me To Freaking Go Out With You When I Totally Abhor Going Out When I am Forced To!

Whenever I am out with you, all that you talk about is you, you and You!

If it is not all about you, topics that you share are questions surrounding the FAILED relationships of you and Phyllis and Hui Ying.

I hate egoistic guys with big bloated pride;

who fails to recognize that the cause of his social downfall is his own attitude;

blaming his failed relationship consequences on my course-mates.

GOSH!

Take a good look at yourself!

You are already lucky enough that Phyllis had a crush on you for years now!

And about Hui Ying?

I don't know.

Are you some kind of stupid guy who just turns to and takes Hui Ying into your arms when Phyllis kind of rejected you?

Can't you see?

You are inflicting unneccessary pain on the people around you?

Me, Phyllis and Hui Ying.

Stop forcing me to go out and buy stupid nonsense with you.

It is difficult for me to fit into your stipulated schedule EVERY single time.

So, Shut Up!

Stop asking me to freaking accomodate you.

Stop acting like some guy who keeps moping around, lost in your own foolish self-centred world.

All you think about is that," I am LONELY. No one cares. Why are you ignoring me? Why did you not reply my S.M.S. and what nots."

PLEASE!

You always S.M.S. me freaking late in the night and how do you expect me to pick up your calls when my parents are so jumpy about me talking late into the night?

My parents half-expect me to be talking to my "boyfriend" and if they find out it is a guy calling, that is definitely the end of me.

Period!

If it is Hui Ping or even Esther, I totally do not mind.

Like totally.

Because

1. They are my besties.
2. Most of the time they really do need me more than you do.

Stop acting like some guy lost in love!

Stop it! Oh my gosh, just pause.

Let me give you a piece of valuable advice.

I have been talking and counselling and wasting my saliva on your freaking easy problems.

It is annoying.

Don't you get what I am driving at?

No matter if it is Phyllis or Hui Ying or even you.

You are NOT matured enough to handle relationships.

Phyllis is scared.

Hui Ying is not ready to commit.

That is all. So stop pushing them and most importantly yourself.

You forced Phyllis so much so that she broke down.

The ever so confident and cool girl that I saw was gone because of you.

I will not allow you to hurt Phyllis.

I have been patiently painting the whole scenario to you, hoping that you could be more receptive, but I guess I am pathetic.

Tolerating everything is now becoming a bore.

I can't hurt you, but I have to find a way to break it to you gently.

I can't.

So, shut up. Stop forcing it upon me.

Things to get for this upcoming festive season:

• Leggings *
• Cardigans *
• Shorts
• Contact Lenses *
• Valentine Day's gifts * (Hope they like it :x)
• Blouses
• Dresses *
• French Manicure Kit
• Front Clasp Belt (Ordered online already; Order is CONFIRMED :])

On second thoughts, it might add up to a quite bit :x

I'll just shop till my legs get too tired to walk through the alleys any further.

God, I am not hoping for a lot this festive season.

I just want to be happy.

I do not expect anything coming from you at all.

I have my best friends here, I guess that is more than just enough for me.

I should not be too greedy or it might come around hurting me.

Secretly, I pray for things to happen.

But then again, it is best I don't get my hopes too high up.

So, I'll leave it all to you.

After all, it says," Let nature take its course."

:x

Labels: shopaholic me

Woke up yesterday to a teeny weeny shock.

Received 2 messages.

Checked out who they came from and I could not believe my eyes.

Period.

I stared and gaped.

It was phenomenal.

What the hell just happened down here?

Someone, anyone, please enlighten me.

Never has it occurred before.

Why now, that something as random as this came out of the blue?

And, in case you have not noticed, take a good look at the time it was sent.

Now, is that another factor that had to be taken into account too?

Or was it Really just a random thought?

And that nothing else mattered.

Anyway, whatever it is, I am glad.

A little more cheery, that is.

Thanks for letting that random thought stray back here.

Labels: I'm happy. For now. I've said all that there was to be said. I'm happier now. For now.

I am beginning to see P.B.L. as my coach.

A full-fledged coach. That is.

Even though it was not stated in his contract that the girls were to be under his care.

He willingly coached us. Aww..

BUT.

Guess what he calls me around the court?

Try pronouncing 矮 in Hokkien.

Yep. That is what he calls me.

Alternatively, "Yellow Pages". That is what he jokes about :x

Why Yellow Pages?

He claims that I need to carry with me the Yellow Pages to 垫高.

-_-''

Played 2 matches the day before.

The first was with P.B.L. as doubles.

Then it was with Yi Jie.

Great game, I must say :D

Re-strung my racquet. Better tension :]

Labels: 加油，黎淑仪！坚持！

Esther! 我决定了！我要快乐！

:]

Ok, so here's the proposal. For Saturday. 26 January.

9.35-Jog with Hui Ping

10.05-Gym with Esther

10.40-Breakfast-cum-lunch

11.10- Training

It is tentative. Open to changes, just tag if you guys want a change :)


As for the Holidays...

1. Wild Wild Wet (Ping Ping!! Try and overcome your fear of it ok? Then we go together next time..)
2. Mahjong
3. Rent DVDs
4. Swim
5. Movie outing
6. Bugis
7. Orchard
8. Sentosa
9. East Coast (Cycling/ +Beach)
10. Sleepover (I try ask my Dad. Cross our fingers!!)
11. Do Manicure
12. Shop for New Year clothes
13. Go on an Eating Spree :x (BPGHS Nasi Briyani!!)
14. Talk Cock

4th February- Esther asked me to plan and list the stuffs down.
Ster-ster, ping-ping free?
Choose one of the above ok?
List is tentative.
On that day, my mum's already overseas, so I'm alone!! Woohoo!
But I have to pick my sis and all...
Yeah man! So fun! Let's meet!

Labels: 期待！

If truth is as easy as A.B.C.s, then lie detectors would be rendered useless.

If feelings were as comprehensive as a dictionary, then opinions were non-existent.

If care is all a sacrificial act, then mothers and fathers are the most prominent figures of our lives.

If love were reciprocal, then "suicide rates" would be a phrase long forgotten.

If forget-me-nots were literally as its name implies, then why not pack them into the boxes of chocolates for my Valentine.

If the hardest day for one has yet to come by, then for some, it has to be V-day.




-Take care ping ping!

Labels: 爱是如此的痛苦。你能撑得住吗？我相信你。

你知道吗？
牺牲是什么？
我现在还试着去了解。
付出又是什么？
我很想知道。
是每天不断地想着怎么克服我生活中的障碍吗？
或是不停的担心我最终的成绩单会是如何呢？


上天，为何对我那么的不公平？
上天，为何不给我一次的机会？
你，是要我为了达到目标，而努力去争取我所爱惜的东西吗？


我渐渐把你的样貌给忘了。
甚至连你说话的声音，在我脑海里都已模糊不清了。


你总是爱以你的方式处理事情。
凡是要你做好的事情，你都办不到。
我早已把我对你的期望抛到一边去。
让它离我远远的。
好让自己受的伤害轻一些。


我，还是傻傻的等待。
以前是这样。
现在还是一样。
未来，傻傻的我，依旧还是会等着你的。


-Affairs of the heart is an unpredictable event.

I speak for Hui Ping.

I speak for myself.

I speak for him.

And I speak for her.

This world is such.

Friendship is the most reliable service you can find around you.

Take for example,

the oh so reliable 24 hours "Confide-with-ME" services. -9230xxxx



1)

Got some latest hot new updates with Joyce and Yi Jie.

They totally left me speechless.


2)

Went around job hunting, which indefinitely killed my blisters.

Too much pressure was exerted on it :x

Wanted to check out "S-POP" in Ngee Ann Polytechnic,

but the plan backfired (as always so predictably).

Somehow or rather things just manage to go horribly wrong.

The timing was WRONG.

The only thing that was right, was its location. That was all. Basket.

Went with ster-ster to Orchard.

Saw a Paul look-alike at Far East. So much taller and hunky. (PURELY in Esther's view :x) lols! jkjk!

Checked him out from the other clothes rack, but the results- He's taken.

Melvyn, step aside man!

We checked out Orchard Hotel, then went over to the lobby bar in O.P.H..

And guess what?

Theresa said I looked more lady-like :x

Tracy was there too.

Then there was this new staff.

He freaking looked like Marcus.

The lower part of his face, that is.

That familiar place; the familiar scent of lemongrass lingering in the air.

I love that place.

Everything started rushing back and I got all nostalgic and teary.

I so want to go back there to work.

Make the alcoholic drink concoctions, joke and have so much fun horsing around.

But, I guess there is no more vacancies.

And even if his father were there, it would not make any difference, since Thomas and Tracy has the last say.

We then went on to a Hotel and I now set my eyes on another job, which would take a lot of courage to take up.

That is, if I even have the basic requirements.

Labels: 死心不改。

It is definitely something to look forward to.

Please don't tell me you cannot make it on that day.

Please, please, please!

I would find the fastest way there, if I could, but there is still a limit.

Wait for me! :x

No time, no time!

I can smell it.

I can feel it in my bones.

Just you wait and see.

There will be a showdown tomorrow.

That is, if everything is all and what I am thinking of.

One specific person will Not be very happy hearing it.

And this one showdown is long due.

Long long overdue. Now, it is time for the one to step in to save the team before it falls.

Serene tried in vain, for 3 years.

But it got the team and specifically him nowhere.

Now it is up to her.

Wish us luck, baby!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was so hilarious.

Trust me.

After eating at LJS,

ping-ping and I saw ster-ster walking with him.

And guess what?

Being the super nonsensical us, we did the most impossible thing ever.

Guess :]

Then, we went on an emo-ing trip back home.

Poor girl. Or rather girl(s) to be specific.

It all ended up where we started.

No surprise.

Girls torture themselves with unwanted pain from the only thing they could salvage.

Girl, it takes time.

Meanwhile, I'm here to share that burden with you.

24-hour hotline specially for Kimmy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They suck.

That is the understatement of the year.

Labels: 他不在。

Wait.

Is a torture that slowly but surely eats away one's youth.

It numbs passion, resticting its growth into a beautiful piece of artwork, splattered with the fruits of love.

Nevertheless, it is a silent killer on the prowl, keeping a constant lookout for its next vulnerable victim who has just fallen prey to the ever fatal disease of love.

Wait.

Strikes when you least expect it to.

One moment, a pair of lovers hug in the corner,

at the entrance of the Army camp, just before the guy gets enlisted for military training.

The other moment sees the girl stranded in that same corner,

watching,

struggling to suppress the outburst of tears, as he reluctantly trudges across the invisible barrier between them.

The guy says,"Wait for me!"

The girl barely manages a reply through her rising emotions.

She croaks," I'll wait for you, no matter what!"

As the fences close shut,

their love subconsciously got trapped in between too.

The girl gets lost in lovelornness.

The guy gets on with his life. New buddies, new comrades.

The number of phone calls was once every 2 nights spent whispering sweet nothings under the cover of his thin blanket, with his other ear straining to catch any footsteps of his commander outside their bunks.

Then twice every 2 months.

It finally got to only once just before he books out of camp.

The girl waits every single night, jumping at every call, hoping against hope that the name appearing on the screen of her mobile is the guy's.

Her anticipation for it dwindles as the seconds to midnight ticks by the side of her ears.

It is now past midnight.

Over in the bunks of the army cadets, he lies in bed, whispering softly now.

Not whispering sweet nothings to his girl,

but whispering in excitement about their common dislike for that particular commander who

barks orders and punishments like it was his everyday vitamin supplements,

without the use of them, it might just leave him malnourished.

She waits, in vain.

She waits, months later, with her heart drained of anticipation.

She waits, many many months after, with her heart now wilting.

The love that got left behind between those fences, got thinner as the days got by.

No love. Where has the long awaited love placed her in his heart.

Of what place does she occupy in his heart?

She asks. But no one replies. The echos of her desperate cries remain unanswered.

Wait has killed the love trapped between that fence.

Wait is the silent killer on the prowl, keeping a lookout for its next vulnerable victim who has just fallen prey to the ever fatal disease of love.

So watch out.

Wait is out there. Still Watching.

Labels: 等待是种恐怖的考验。

NO!

Why did Giacomo have to leave "Hell's Kitchen"?

Why Giacomo?

There were so many other guys whom I can think of.

Or specifically, only that 1 deserved to go.

NOT Giacomo!

Oh no. Now "Hell's Kitchen" is down to Heather.

I think Heather is great, as a chef. As a female chef.

Keith too, as a guy.

Ever since the very first episode,

I thought Giacomo was going to last through till the end.

He has rather good culinary skills.

In the very first assignment in "Hell's Kitchen", he aced the test.

He sailed through it. With an Italian dish if I remembered correctly.

His dish got the best comments from Chef Ramsay.

The others fared badly.

Real badly in that particular assignment.

At one point, Chef Ramsay tasted one contestant's dish and "threw up" right in his out-stretched hands.

Giacomo has this cute nerdy look; with black curly hair falling all over the crown of his head.

He gives me the feeling of an unpolished gem, waiting to shine, if given the chance.

Go Giocomo!

Leaving "Hell's Kitchen" is not such a big deal!

Compete in its next season! :]


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I told myself the night before to go jogging this morning and guess what?!

I actually did it! :x (No procrastination, Baby!)

Need to have more discipline so that I will continue this routine.

I was jogging across the junction and I saw a rather familiar figure approaching.

I stopped and realized it was Yi Jie.

So I waved, jogged back and we started talking.

I accompanied him, waiting for a cab right opposite the Segar L.R.T. station.

He told me of the Yew Tee route. He said it was great for jogging.

So I said we can go jog sometime soon.

He's a frequent jogger and I have got a feeling he might become my jogging buddy. (Yeah! No more "lone jogger blues")

That is if I am disciplined enough to stick to the routine.

We've known each other for so long, living so near each other, yet it is so difficult to get together for a game of badminton or something.

Ever since primary 5A3, I think.

7 solid years.

Recently, for I.V.P., we went over to N.Y.P. (his school) and we went home together after watching the matches.

Newsflash: He and Joyce got closer during the I.V.P..

Joyce opened up to him.

And I guess he warmed up to her too, with Japanese culture being the main focal topic of discussion.

哈哈！

I sense that if they got close enough, I would have another pair of lovers.

Both of whom are my friends.

But then again, it is so difficult to differentiate a crush from a friendship, with a guy like Yi Jie.

Definition: Kenneth Ong Yi Jie = Alex Tan Yuan Sheng = Mr. nice guy

So technically, it is difficult :x

So anyway, after Yi Jie hailed his cab,

off I went to the park to jog.

Lots of trees there, great for shading me from the Sun :] (Good! Good!)

The breeze was there too.

It was cooling.

A great weather to jog and not get all frustrated over the blazing sun, or the cold misty mornings.

As I was jogging through that park connector,

listening to the radio,

I thought through all that has happened.

And I felt a wave of happy sadness.

How do you exactly depict that kind of feeling?

The feeling of freedom in that sense.

The feeling of regret.

The sweet aftermath.

That disorientated mess.

That ever-persistent longing.

The strength from which it all derived from- the happy sadness.

But then again, I was snapped back into reality when a blister formed and I was beginning to feel pain.

And reason being?

I stupidly wore my badminton shoes for jogging.

I should have worn that other shoe.

I should have listened.

:x

Labels: the happy sadness- a strange element.

Just for the record,

I was praised for my lobbing. :]

So proud of myself! This is a teeny weeny breakthrough :x

Xiu Ling and Akina was rather impressed.

Especially Xiu Ling. She was happy :x

There were times when she was really frustrated and could not understand why we could not get it right.

Sometimes,

just simply practicing the strokes on the spot is alright.

But when it come to "The Application",

it all goes horribly wrong.

Therefore, THEORY is not = PRACTICAL

On court, not every single shot gets hit to the same spot.

I cannot expect that amount of consistency in her shots,

so not only do I have to worry about getting the strokes right,

footwork is the other BIG problem.

So, Step 1- ACCOMPLISHED, 成功！

Thanks - Joyce!

Thanks - Xiu Ling!

Thanks - P.B.L.!

Thanks - Li Shi!

Thanks - Alvin!

Thanks - Akina!

Thanks - Yi Jie!

Thanks - Jing!

Thanks - Ah Gong!

I never had the strength to lob the shuttle across.

Not much power. Not much "wrist power" in another word.

"Wrist power"- I still don't get that concept.

I think that before that, the way I held my racket was not the "handshake grip".

The old way of gripping was not that powerful.

The shots delivered, was not as far.

I tried getting used to the "handshake grip" around 2 months back.

It was weird initially.

I mean how can anyone get used to that "handshake grip"?

The contact point with the shuttle has to be changed when the racket head swings above your head.

The shuttle was SO out of control when I used the "handshake grip".

It kept going out of the court.

So embarrassing!!

Now Step 2: Wrist power!! 加油！
















阿公永远支持你！

Labels: 我是在幻想吗？

3 more weeks.

I will allow myself to lose.

To bow my head down in her presence.

But after that,

it will all be up to me.

I am washing my hands off these dirt.

Gambatte!

If a dream is a fantasy,

then, I am living out a fantasy.

Drowning myself in a world of make-believe.

Ever since that dream.

That dream that felt so real.

So real; it has blurred the line between reality and make-believe.

So real; I am willing to embrace the sorrow that brought about that scene.

So real; I cried for myself, in self-pity. My pathetic self.

It has been so long now.

Longer than you can imagine.

"I hate that I love you so."

Well expressed.

So very well conveyed.

This phrase. It simply is flawless.

Heard of it yet?

The one sung by Rihanna featuring Ne-yo?

If you haven't, why not give it a listen?

Britney sings:

"Why do these tears come at night?

Lost in an image; In a dream. But there's no one there to wake her up."

Crooning in reply,

"I fear stepping back through the gates of reality, is no longer possible.

For it has already been eluded within the labyrinth of my fantasy."

No matter how hard I tried,

tears still bled through the make shift plasters,

careless stuck across the very wounds of previous heartaches.

You never knew how much you made me suffer.

No siree.

You were never there when I needed you.

I spend the break of the dawn,

re-visiting that history which you discarded indifferently in the bin.

I spend the time, rummaging through that mess you left me with.

You never turned back to see how I was doing.

You never did turn back.

Who started it?

No one did.

You did.

Single-handedly.





So, pray.

That I chance upon that gate of reality,

or remain in solitude, with him.

In my world of make-believe.

Where pain, love and regret are akin to our hunger of acceptance.








-Sue.
Yet another attempt by me.
Not sure if that "feel" is there yet.
So..feel free to comment! :]
P.s. Don't skin me alive, Mrs. Wong!
For this "piece of work", she wouldn't have been too happy looking at it.
This whole page would be full of red ink with writings like "SYNTAX ERROR!" and
" SEE ME!" , just like before.
In my secondary school days, I'd go back to her desk and she'd tell me," This kind of writing, it's more for book authors, not students undertaking their 'O's."
:x

Labels: I hate that I love you so.

These guys sure do know how to start the year with a bang.

On the year of 2008;

On the month of January;

On the first day of the first month.

I hereby pronounce them now officially- a couple. [Clap, clap, clap!]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My New Year Resolutions are OUT.

Resolutions.

God knows if I could even stick to them despite the fact that I have thought through them rather thoroughly,

if I could say.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be my strength. Please.

Guide me through this mess, with ease.

Help me get past 2008.

Don't fail me,

baby.

Be my strength and motivation.

2008,

it is more than predictions and fate.

Trust me.

-sue

It's a little lame though.

A failed attempt at poetry :x